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Can I ask his lawyer what’s going on if mine won’t respond?

July 17, 2017

This is a rare but frustrating situation during divorce proceedings. You have pressing questions that you need to know the answer to but you simply can’t get a clear answer from your attorney’s office. You feel like you’re either being ignored outright or like your lawyer is too busy to answer your questions. What this situation does is increase the emotional stress of a divorce, which as we all know is already painful enough without throwing in an unresponsive attorney.

Many people in this situation would begin to think of other alternatives to getting their questions answered. In some cases, people will even think of contacting their husband’s lawyer to get the questions they so desperately need the answers to. Before you do this, though, it’s important to answer this common question: Can I ask his lawyer what’s going on if mine won’t respond?

Answering This Important Question

Under the law, you have a clear answer to THIS question at least. No, you can’t contact your husband’s attorney and ask him what’s going on. His attorney is not allowed to answer your questions, given that you are not his client. Even if he were to be allowed to answer the questions, it would be better to get the advice of your own attorney.

So here is the vital information in the answer no. You NEED to get your attorney to communicate with you more often, when necessary, and immediately. It’s not right to leave a client already going through the pain of a divorce waiting for an answer. What you’ll need to do is make sure that you communicate effectively with your attorney so that they realize they are not being responsive to your questions and needs.

Write a letter to your attorney

Communicating in writing is great because you always have a record of the communication. If the other party tries to say that you didn’t reach out to them, you have that written document showing that you did, indeed, reach out and try to get answers. When your lawyer fails to answer one of your important questions, it’s time to put those concerns in writing.

Certified letters are great for this type of situation. If you can see clearly that your attorney received the letter and still failed to reach out to you, then you know it might be time to look elsewhere for legal services. No good divorce attorney is going to ignore a letter from a client like this. If you took the time to write the letter, date it, certify it, and send it out, then they should care enough about your case to call with an apology and an answer to your questions.

Yes, attorneys are busy people. Yes, there will be times when it might take a day or two to get back with an answer. But you should never feel ignored by your divorce lawyer. The fact that you’re even asking whether or not you can go to your husband’s attorney to get answers says that you might want to rethink your legal team. You shouldn’t be asking this question in the first place.

No, you can’t ask his lawyer what’s going on

If you can’t get an answer to your legal questions about your divorce, always keep in mind that you will not get answers from his attorney. His attorney is not allowed to work with you in any way (it’s a conflict of interest and questionable at best).

The second part to this question is, who do you go to when your own attorney isn’t answering your questions and letting you know what’s going on. The answer here is twofold:

1. Write your attorney a certified letter explaining your questions and asking for a response.
2. If you still don’t get a response, it’s time to begin considering changing your divorce attorney.

As experienced divorce lawyers ourselves, we strive to never leave our clients worrying about pressing questions to their case. We communicate often, clearly, and specifically when there is a question our clients need to know the answer to. It’s one of our goals to make our clients active in their own cases to the extent that they never have to know what’s going on. Our clients always know what’s going on in their cases, every step of the way, and any good divorce attorney is going to give you the answers before you even have to ask the questions.

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