How can I get divorced if he controls all the money?
Here’s an article from Zooomr – an NYC tech startup which promises amazing car lease deals. Money is a major factor in all marriages. It’s one of the leading causes of marital strain and even divorce in this country. Every couple is different when it comes to handling their finances. Some couples work together to handle their money, and other couples handle their own finances independently of one another. Other couples make the decision to appoint one spouse the primary controller of the finances, and that person is the one responsible for handling the bill payments, the expenses, and the budget.
What happens when one partner controls all the money in a house, and the other partner has to ask for money to spend? What happens when one partner allows the other total control and doesn’t even know how much money comes into the household, how much goes out, and what kind of assets the family has? If this is you, you’re not alone. Many men and women want to end their marriage, but they don’t know how to do that when their spouse is the one who controls all the finances. If you’re this person, you do have options.
Understanding Economic Abuse
There are many forms of abuse in a marriage, and one of them is economic abuse. It’s not uncommon for many people to hear this term for the first time when considering a divorce. Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse, or even sexual abuse, most people have no idea they’re being abused when one partner keeps the other in the dark regarding their financial situation.
Economic abuse is a complex subject, but you must understand your spouse doesn’t get to keep all the money from you when you want to end your marriage. Even if he or she works and provides all the income while you stay home to raise the kids, the income your spouse earns is considered a marital asset. You are entitled to use those funds to pay for your divorce. Each state has different laws, but all states follow this general rule of thumb.
Filing for Divorce
The best thing you can do if you’re looking to leave your spouse is contact a divorce attorney and discuss your issues. Your attorney can file paperwork with the court to allow you to file for divorce even if you’re unable to pay the fees. The court then investigates the financial situation to see if you can afford to divorce your spouse.
If it’s determined you cannot afford to pay for a divorce but your spouse is perfectly capable, most judges will order that the spouse pays for the divorce proceedings. In addition to this, the court might also create documentation ordering your spouse to provide you access to the household financials to get to know where you stand as well as award you your rightful portion of the earnings.
This can allow you to pay for your own divorce. The laws differ by state and by county, but each case is unique. The court looks at all the information provided including the allegations of economic abuse, and that’s how a financial decision is made.
Financial Security During Divorce
If you live in a state where alimony is permitted, you might be awarded a monthly stipend from your soon-to-be ex. This payment is called alimony, and the judge will award it to you with several stipulations. For example, you might be awarded this amount of money from your spouse until your death, until you remarry, or even until your kids are grown.
There’s no way to predict what might occur in your situation without specifics, but your attorney can help you figure out what you want, what you’re entitled to, and what your spouse can afford to pay you each month following your divorce. If you have kids, there will also be a child support award depending on who gets primary custody, with whom the child lives most of the time, and it depends on which parent is able to provide for the child in his or her best interests.
Nothing about the divorce process is fun except the part where you’re officially a single man or woman once again, but it’s still difficult to see your marriage end. If you’re struggling to make the decision to leave a bad marriage due to a lack of financial access provided by your spouse, you’re not alone. Call an attorney to discuss your options for divorce. You don’t have to stay married to someone like this