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Can My Spouse Claim Adultery I was Forgiven?

July 1, 2018

In the United States, infidelity is a major factor of divorce. Adultery doesn’t have to be physical, as an emotional relationship between a married individual and a third party is also a common reason for divorce. However, extramarital emotional relationships are not seen as adulterous behavior under New York laws. Although some spouses may initially forgive the spouse that cheated, eventually some of these couples can’t work through their problems and decide to divorce.

When your spouse forgives you for infidelity, it is important to note that he or she will still be able to use it against you during a divorce. While forgiveness is always a step in the right direction when you and your spouse are having marital difficulties, it is possible that your spouse may not have meant what he or she said. Even if your spouse truly forgives you, he or she may eventually realize that divorce is the right option.

Can Adultery be Used as Legal Ground for a Divorce?

According to New York laws, individuals who are divorcing can file a fault or no fault divorce. With a no-fault divorce, the spouse who files only needs to cite that the relationship has been irretrievably broken for at least six months.

If an individual wants to file for a fault divorce, then he or she will need to prove the following:
Adultery;
Incarceration of three years or more;
Abandonment for at least one year;
Cruel and inhumane treatment.

In New York, the laws state that adultery is when one married individual has a sexual relationship with another individual whom is not his or her spouse. When an individual files for a divorces based on adultery, it is essential to have a divorce attorney because there will more than likely be complex issues that require legal expertise.

If your spouse decides to file for a divorce, he or she will need to provide the court with a reason, which will be through citing specific issues that are not able to be resolved. However, citing irreconcilable differences is suitable if your spouse wants to remain discreet about the reasons surrounding your divorce. When a spouse files for a divorce and cites irreconcilable differences, it means that neither party is to blame.

When your spouse decides to cite infidelity as the reason for a divorce, it may not seem fair if you were forgiven. If you cheated on your souse, then asking for forgiveness shows that you made an attempt to save your marriage. However, if your spouse cites infidelity during a divorce filing, it is ultimately seen as your fault regardless of if you apologized.

Although your spouse may find it easy to forgive you soon after he or she finds out, there are many individuals who file for divorce due to adultery after time has passed. This may be because some couples attempt to resolve their problems through counseling. In addition, if you feel unhappy with your marriage, then your apology isn’t going to have a significant difference in court.

Will Infidelity Influence Spousal Maintenance in New York?

Most forms of marital fault, such as infidelity, are typically not taken into consideration during the court’s determination of spousal maintenance. In addition, a spouse who was cheated on will not automatically receive spousal maintenance, but the chances will significantly increase with the help of a skilled divorce attorney.

You should also note that if one spouse has committed adultery and uses excess funds on the third party, which may include lavish gifts and vacations, it could be seen as wasteful dissipation of martial assets by the court. In these circumstances, the court may consider adultery when determining how much spousal maintenance should be awarded. In addition to spousal maintenance, adultery doesn’t typically have an impact on custody or visitation with couples that have children.

Contact an Experienced Divorce Attorney

When your spouse has filed for divorce and cited adultery as the cause, you can contest the grounds of your divorce, but this should only be attempted with the help of a skilled divorce attorney. A divorce attorney can make the entire process easier. Although you do have to go through with a divorce if he or she wants to, you can fight for the reasons of the divorce.

In addition, it can be difficult for your spouse to file for adultery without proof. New York laws require that a spouse has proof that the other spouse committed adultery. Those who have been accused adultery as a reason for divorce should contact a divorce attorney immediately, which is especially true if your spouse has an attorney. Many times, spouses without legal representation will get bullied to succumb to the other spouse’s requests. A divorce attorney can protect your rights and help you get the best outcome.

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