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Can I sue the other woman for destroying my marriage?

If your spouse committed adultery, you may be wondering if you can sue the third party for causing the end of your marriage.

In most states, you won’t be able to do this. There are a few states that still have laws regarding criminal conversation and alienation of affection, both of which would allow you to sue a third party for contributing to the end of your marriage, provided you can prove it. Both of these are civil, not criminal charges.

Criminal Conversation

Criminal conversation occurs if your spouse has sexual intercourse with someone else during your marriage. The term itself is based on conversation’s previous meaning of sexual intercourse.

Again, most states have abolished criminal conversation and alienation of affection. In states that allow them, what you’re required to prove can vary. Most will require you to prove to the court a few key elements.

First, you must prove that you were married to your ex-spouse, which is simple enough. Next, you must prove that your spouse had sex with someone else while you two were married, not when you were separated or divorced.

This is what makes it challenging to argue criminal conversation. Your word alone certainly won’t be enough to convince the court that the other woman was having sexual intercourse with your husband. To prove criminal conversation, plaintiffs typically hire private investigators to obtain photographic of video evidence of the adultery.

Every state will have a statute of limitations on criminal conversation. For example, in North Carolina, you’ll have up to three years to file your suit. The statute of limitations begins after the last time your spouse has sexual intercourse with the other woman during your marriage.

It’s important to note that for criminal conversation, you can only sue someone who actually had sexual intercourse with your spouse at the time. Anything less than sexual intercourse does not constitute criminal conversation. The rules on alienation of affection are less strict.

Alienation of Affection

With alienation of affection, you’re claiming that a third party alienated you from your spouse and caused the end of your marriage.

Just like with criminal conversation, there are several elements you must prove for an alienation of affection case.

First, you need to demonstrate that you and your spouse had a happy marriage. This part tends to be simple, as courts will generally assume that the marriage was happy unless evidence otherwise is demonstrated.

You must then prove that a third party’s actions were the direct cause of your spouse becoming alienated from you.

Finally, you must prove that this damaged you. When you end up getting divorced, you can often sue for pain and suffering.

The majority of alienation of affection cases involve one party suing the other man or woman, but this isn’t always the case. Alienation of affection encompasses a wide range of situations, and you could sue any person or party that you felt was directly responsible for your divorce.

That could be your ex-spouse’s family member, friend, therapist or even a business. For example, one man sued both his wife’s new lover and the website where they met,, for alienation of affection. Of course, one reason he was able to sue the website is because it specifically markets itself towards married people who want to have affairs. If it was just a standard dating website, it’s unlikely an alienation of affection case would stand a chance.

Talking to a Divorce Lawyer About Your Situation

If you want to sue the other woman, the smartest thing you can do is talk to a divorce lawyer about it. You shouldn’t get your hopes up, as it may not be possible.

If you live in one of the many states that already abolished criminal conversation and alienation of affection, then you’ll be out of luck. Alienation of affection, for example, is only recognized in six states.

Even if you live in a state that recognizes one or both of these torts, you’ll still need proof that the other woman was a direct cause of your divorce. This means you’ll need to have evidence from when you were married of either the other woman having sexual intercourse with your spouse at the time, or taking other action that directly led to the divorce.

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